I made mistakes. Do not turn me into the perfect victim. I was hurt, but being hurt doesn’t excuse everything I did.
Creating that account was wrong. It came from panic, confusion, and feeling shut out from what was happening—but that doesn’t justify it. I crossed a boundary, and I take responsibility for that.
When emotions became unbearable, I let frustration speak instead of the person I actually want to be. I said harsh things when I was simply terrified of losing you.
I can understand why something I said scared you. I can understand why it made you pull back. I don’t want the worst version of me from those moments to be the version you remember. I can regret it without pretending I didn’t feel hurt too.
There were things I had planned and prepared for you. But when everything felt overwhelming, I shut down and didn’t send them. I let fear paralyze me instead of reaching out cleanly.
I don’t want the worst version of me from those moments to be the version you remember.
I’m not asking for forgiveness here, and I’m not making excuses. This is simply the truth of what I carried and where I failed.